folie-a-tout: heyaeya: dameofspace: pandyssian: OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme became something like this: THAT EXPLAINS WHY MEN GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE WHEN THEY...
defuzzification: entertainingwealthybitches: 90sdefect: ghdos: the4mat: andross: Are people really mad about Leonardo DiCaprio saying nigga in Django? He was playing a slave owner in the South during the mid-1800’s. The hell you want him to say? “young black man” “African American chap” “Young Brutha” “beautiful chocolate fellows”
poopflow: poopflow: i clicked a wrong link and yelled ABORT ABORT and my mom whispered i thought the same thing right before u were born
oncelut: my neighbors are fighting and the mom just called her son an ungrateful little cocksucker and he said “that was oNE TIME” i woNDER IF HE Can HEAR M ELAUGHING
nowimagineababydragon: sweetprincemoth: nowimagineababydragon: My housemate is a geneticist and she plans to use her degree to create a goldfish sized whale. Did she also consider a whale sized goldfish? Yes. The concept was deemed terrifying.
me: is it weird to talk to yourself?
me: yes it is you stupid motherfucker
me: don't you dare talk to me like that you little bitch
attains: attains: if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
rupindre: foreveralone-lyguy: rupindre: My dad has 84 pairs of socks why did you count the amount of pairs of socks that your dad has I didn’t count, he did, then he came downstairs and announced it to the entire family
fartgallery: fartgallery: The best thing about my roommate getting tumblr is if he doesn’t reblog my text posts I can just go in his room and beat him up he didn’t reblog this
Being under 21 and having a girlfriend/friends that are all over 21 is the worst. Why me?
wolves-within: partybarackisinthehousetonight: imagine if every single person in the world simultaneously said ‘mayonnaise’ the night bloggers are here early
jakemalik: how to tie the strongest knot ever step 1: put a pair of headphones in your pocket step 2: wait 1 minute
Can't believe this actually happened
Boy in my class: *draw lines on his arm with a red marker and making jokes about self harm* Ohh, it hurts so much, i am emo and im going to kill myself
Our teacher: *walks up behind him, looks at what he is doing*
Boy: Do you wanna see my favorite cut? *points at on of the lines he had drawn*
Teacher: *pulls up his sleeve and reveal an arm with lots of scars and points at the biggest* do you wanna se mine?
Boy: *gasping, and stares at the teacher's arm* but....
Teacher: Please dont make jokes about self harm, ok! you never know which one of those around you who are actually dealing with it. And its not a joke.
c00kiedough: sleeping in an oversized hoodie seems like a good idea until its 2am and it feels like you’re taking a bath with satan